Some reflections inspired by Piero Ferrucci, an Italian psychotherapist, on our overwhelming desires.

Some reflections inspired by Piero Ferrucci, an Italian psychotherapist, on our overwhelming desires.

Detachment — and even more so detachment from our desires — is advocated in many spiritual traditions. Yet repressing or suppressing a desire is almost impossible: desire is an intrinsic force that will not let itself be defeated. In fact, it is even a sign of vitality when our desires assert themselves intensely. But they can quickly become excessive, overwhelm us unexpectedly and push us to extremes.

We then find ourselves caught in a frenzy: hungry for satisfaction, restless, impatient and often desperate in a world where our needs are sometimes purely imaginary. While we cannot eradicate these impulses, we can take a step back: by observing our desires clearly, they lose some of their hold. We then learn to distinguish a passing desire from a genuine necessity.

Setting boundaries from an early age.

It is crucial to set boundaries from an early age, because once undesirable behaviours become established, it is too late to change them deeply. A person with “AS” sometimes behaves without limits and genuinely needs their parents to serve as role models: the rules must be made explicit and their application explained. From childhood, these frameworks must be set out clearly, otherwise bad habits become entrenched and are imitated.

There are also emblematic examples of influential AS personalities lacking sufficient boundaries: Elon Musk intervenes in world politics and elections; Mark Zuckerberg (Meta) is regularly criticised for the misuse of personal data and for neuroscience-based persuasion techniques applied to social networks. Bill Gates (Microsoft) is accused of appropriating ideas, resorting to industrial espionage and adopting an overpowering commercial strategy. In their respective fields, their desires for power and profit have often had harmful consequences for society.

These examples illustrate a lack of awareness of the repercussions of certain actions. In an age when people want all their desires fulfilled, preferably without delay, perspective is often missing and moral blindness becomes apparent.